Michael got back

Apparently I've been living wrong for my entire life. At least that's what my physical therapist says. And I need to change before it's too late. It all started when I tried to lift the trailer tongue using an incorrect method. I knew it was wrong, but I've been doing it wrong for years. But this time something deep inside my lower back went boooiiinnngggg and I knew I had a problem.

So now I need to learn anew how to do simply daily tasks without using my lower back. Drop a pencil? Deep curtsey to retrieve. Need to get out of bed? Roll to your side, swing legs over the edge and pivot to a sitting position? Want to spit out toothpaste? Hold on to sink front and bend at the hips and knees to provide an adequate angle of attack. Simon says to touch your toes? Just say no! Most of all, contrary to what may be considered polite in society, therapist says not to be shy. Save the back by sticking out the derriere and bending at the hips.

[think "Sir Mix-a-lot"]
... then turn around! Stick it out!
Even white boys got to shout!
Michael got back